


The Xbox Problem

by Ceileice



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Other, The xbox did not consent to this, Vegetables, netflix, there's a lotta penis kinda, veganism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 16:23:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5055604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceileice/pseuds/Ceileice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>God, Killua can't even game right</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Xbox Problem

Gon was returning from his grocery shopping. The contents inside of his grocery bags were broccoli, asparagus, kale, collards, celery, leeks, lettuce, spinach, and bok choy for the Asian-ness factor. He was going green. He wore green. His hair was green. He ate green. He had green (money). And he was gonng to make Killua green too.

'I must convert the non-vegan.' Gon simply thought to himself. He knew Killua was going to grow fat if he continued eating candy and shit. And Gon weighed more than Killua, shit.

Gon broke the door down, not caring because its not his house. He does not pay the rent. 

"HI KILLUA!" he screamed obnoxiously.

But you see Killua was busy, too, too busy, with the Xbox360.

"KILLUA WE'RE EATING SALAD TONIGHT." Gon announced proudly. He knew Killua hated salad, but he had to convert him. He knew it would be a long, grueling process. One that was not only mentally straining, but physically as well, for Gon had to chop the vegetables, steam the vegetables, and-

"How'd you get your dick stuck in the xbox doe?"

Gon was dumbfounded. So, so dumbfounded. He even dropped his grocery bags all over the nice wooden floors. Why the fuck was Killua's dick stuck in the Xbox360???

"Um..." Killua started, still trying to get his fucking penis out of the floppy disc drive!!! "It's a long story."

"A story longer than your dick." Gon snickered.

Killua was offended. "Shut the fuck up at least I don't smell like onions, like Shrek."

"Anyway," Killua continued, "I..."

"How do you even fit your dong in there? The disc tray is really flat?" Gon gasped. "Oh my zucchini, does that mean your penis will be forever printed with the disc tray pattern??"

Then Gon added, "Damn dude your dick must be FLAT as hell I mean I knew it wasn't anything special, you know, not anything worth looking at but-"

"GON!" Killua interrupted. How dare that Shrek wannabe insult his pride, his peewee. He tried to rip the console off of his cawk but it wouldn't budge.

"The Xbox loves my dick too much." Killua frowned.

"Hihihihihihihiihhihihihihi" Gon laughed like some creepy ass old man and his face was like Yeah Sure Killua. He then began to eat greens off of the floor because he paid a lot of money for this shit, shit Whale Island always gotta import food and that's expensive.

Killua flapped his lips and not his dick, "Ummmm I was watching My Little Pony and well... Shit... Fuck... Things got awkward OK?"

Gon was too busy eating his greeenies.

Killua was real tired of Gon's shit (and not the poop kind), so he got up and unplugged the Xbox 360. The console was still stuck to his penor but at least he could walk around right?

'This thing is fucking heavy...' Killua thought HEAVILY as he walked over to the kitchen. He was going to the fridge to get munchies.

When he opened the fridge, he was surprised by the sight of... Hisoka the clown!

"aaaaaaaaaaaaah" Killua screamed in lowercase letters.

"Why the xbox stuck on your dick dude?" Hisoka asked. He was playing cards with the jar of mayonnaise and Killua interrupted.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MAH FRIDGE?!?" Killua screamed.

Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Not your fridge. Ging paid for it."

Killua was astonished! "What a fucking surprise. He has money. God, he looks like a bum."

.... "Wait how do you know that?"

Hisoka climbed out of the fridge because for some reason he could actually do that, let alone fit in there. He then stared at Killua's new penis. Like WTF. You can't even make love to an Xbox you dumb kid.

"Wow, unimpressive." Hisoka complimented. Sheesh, even his clown friends had bigger peenees than that. Killua really needs to step up his game.

Killua asked, "Why you lookin," But Hisoka was gone now.

The clown was in the living room with Gon, who was still eating greens off the floor.

"Netflix and chill?" he asked in his seductive voice.

Gon's face LIT UP. God, he was so, so happy. Someone finally asked him that. Killua never bothered. He replied, "OMG YES PLEASE." Gon loved Netflix.

So Hisoka turned on Netflix and they chilled. Yeaaaah.

Meanwhile Killua was fucking crying!!! The xbox was still sucking on his cock!!!

"MY PENIS IS BEING SQUEEZED TO DEATH AND NO ONE CARES!" he angrily yelled.

Gon answered from the living room, "YOU CHOSE YOUR OWN DEMISE DAMMIT, LIVE WITH IT."

Then Killua stopped crying. Wait, yes. Come through. Killua was thinking. Yes, yes. He could just live life like this. A new penis.

'I'll need bigger pants tho...'

So he asked Milluki for fashion advice.

"Bro, I need big pants for my cawk."

Milluki was like "wut?"

Killua begged. "Please..."

So he said OK and he gave Killua a pair of his stanky size 60 pants.

Killua was walking around in his new baggy pants. His xbox penis fit so it was ok. He was fine living life like this.

...Until somebody asked.

"Dude why'd you fuck the Xbox???"

It was Pairo.

Killua responded, "wait What the FUCK. You're blind."

"Sixth sense bitches." Pairo simply answered and walked off.

Killua was confused.

**Author's Note:**

> the end


End file.
